Open Question: I have adult anorexia…I have questions.?
First, I am asking this question in all sincerity…being completely honest…and, I appreciate anyone who can answer my questions!
I have had what I call “cyclic” anorexia eversince I was a teen. I am 53 years young now.
I relapsed almost 3 years ago.
Typically, I was able to regain my health & stopped my self starvation in the past. I have had treatment before, but I never had to go in the hospital.
But, this time, I do not want to stop my obsessive illness, but I don’t understand why?
I am not suicidal. I do not have a death wish!
I want to live.
But, I don’t want to lose my best friend…anorexia.
I like the control I have with it…
I like the numb feeling I get from not eating.
(I am sorry if this disturbs anyone?)
And, naturally I have an extreme fear of gaining weight again.
I have been to a talk therapy psychologist. I have been to a psychiatrist.
My family doctor has tried to work with me.
I have 3 grown kids & 2 grandchildren, but I find myself completely stuck in this mental illness.
(In case you did not know, anorexia IS the #1 most deadly mental illness)
By the way, I stopped losing weight a year ago on 500-800 cal’s a day…so, losing weight is obviously not my main priority from my illness. I wish I could lose more weight, but my body stopped at what they call a plateau to protect itself.
I actually like this addiction as a way to handle my stress & anxiety?
I have been on a number of med’s for my anorexia, but I don’t want to take the ones that cause me NOT to obsess about what I eat?
I remember how it started almost 3 years ago, and those problems are still unresolved.
I am a praying woman. I fear death. So, I know there is hope!
I do not appear anorexic now that I am older to most people…they just think I am not getting enough sleep.
Does anyone have any much needed advice for me?
Is it possible that I won’t die from anorexia complications if I eat at least 800 cal’s daily for the rest of my life?
I have lots of degenerative disease going on due to my malnutrition…degenerated retina’s, degenerative disc disease, and several others, but nothing life threatening yet like kidney failure.
My main worry is my heart!
Can a middle aged woman keep a healthy heart on 500-800 cal’s a day?
Can my heart endure it & continue beating since I can no longer exercise obsessively like when I was younger? I know my heart muscle can be affected…
If you need to know - my daily food intake is 2 slimfast drinks, sweet tea, a stalk of celery, a cup of dry cheerios w/o milk, coffee with cream, & lots of bubble gum.
In response to the 2nd answer here on the colon cleanse - I am not allowed to take laxatives or water pills. I DID successfully stop that habit because it causes electrolyte imbalance which can cause heart failure among other things…I assume colon cleanse may have a laxative effect?
To the person who answered first - I am so sorry to hear about your cardiac arrest. That is so sad & scary. I pray you will live a happy & healthy life!
I just wonder if it was because you were exercising to extreme & using what cal’s you did eat on your physical activity?
I used to do that. I don’t anymore.
I did have a nuclear scan show heart probs, but the cardiac catheter did not figure out an actual specific problem?
I guess with me not exercising this time around…I am at least retaining the cal’s/energy for my bodies health?
I don’t know. I am asking…
Sat, 16 Jan 2010 06:15:35 GMT
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