Open Question: I have to drink to go outside, family is sick of me and Im suicidal, help?
My father (as he usually does to me) made a last minute decision to call me 20 minutes before my family went 40 miles out of town to a local zoo. He actually put my mom on the phone and she said if I didn’t come along he would be mad because the whole family is home from out of state and never gets to see me.
I am an alcoholic because I can NOT FIND MEDS to control my panic disorder. I have been diagnosed with panic with agorophobia, severe anxiety disorder, bipolar, and depression. I immediately started drinking the hardest liquor I could find just so I could walk out of the house because my dad would have flipped out if I hadn’t gone.
When they all finally came to pick me up I was borderline drunk and crying. My heart rate was 180 just because I had to travel so far and we ended up getting lost downtown. I started crying again and my dad screamed at me and said I smelled like alcohol. The entire day was a panic and I didn’t even want to go. Now my family hates me and nooone is talking to me. What can I do?
I am on Zoloft 100mg and Xanax as needed but I don’t use xanax because it knocks me out. Alcohol is the only thing that works. How do I explain to my family I have this disease? They don’t understand when I explain I can’t go outside! Thanks.

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 19:54:38 GMT

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