Open Question: Pleaaaaaaseeee critique this! i just wrote it?? “Brothers of Blood.”?
ok i’m 13 so dont expect too much of me. i dont want it to be a riddle to you, so heres the jist of the story. a sister is telling her older brother their younger brothers secret. the characters are meant to be native americans.
Brothers of Blood
He knows what makes his brother weep,
He was told of his pale sorrow.
I murmured his secrets as he lay asleep,
And his pain will be known on the morrow.
Regret shall not flood over my face,
Until his sadness is known.
He lies in a slumber, with thoughts of lace.
My brother can’t know of realities throne.
His still reaction had cooled my gut,
My heart is finally hollow.
The wound has opened, a seeping cut,
And the bare emotions he will swallow.
Brothers of the north, let it be known!
Let the earth’s rotation slow.
My brothers blood is of floor less bone,
And it is the souls breath that I owe.
hang on, its the sister telling her older brother their youngest brothers secret while their youngest brother sleeps. sorry, its so complicated. thanks for the answers!!

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 20:51:27 GMT

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